Erica's blog

A list of listless days

3.xxam : Went to sleep, checked hp battery status and it was 1%. had a gut feeling but ignored and went to sleep
12.30pm: woke up. SMS came when started charging phone and e feeling was true. stoned. brushed teeth. stoned.
1.05pm: suddenly "woke up" and started smsing,replying,collating.
3.XXpm: went online and surfed aimlessly
6.00pm: "woke up" again and rushed to popular/library/grocery shopping
6.42pm: dinner & back to internet again
8.xxpm: sudden realization and started folding
11.xxpm: informed/told sis/stoned for 3min
11.xxpm: found my fingers busy on e keypad again
11.xxpm-3.xxam stoned/wept at e ever vibrating and blinking gadget, talked on phone, in between resumed folding but found myself stupidly unable to switch from thinking get well soon to something else while folding each one.
4.xxam to lalaland

7.xxam woke up to e white and red communication device that i hate the most now, resumed replying. finally got a break and climbed down e bed 20min later

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (state of memory loss)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
12.xxpm: ate lunch and prepared to leave the house
1.00pm: set off back to school
2.xxpm: reached but a little late >< and yeah another round came. talked, walked around, wrote and sang
4.00pm left the school
5.20pm reached but was terribly late. couldnt believe my stupidity after walking by the wrong route again and getting stuck in e basement due to the closure of the escalators D:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  (state of memory loss plus dozing off)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
10.00pm (or later?) end of training (w no dinner) and headed back home
10.30++pm hopped onto the bus and yet another stoning/smsing session
11.30pm Reached home, bathed and resumed reading "retarded stuff" online
3.xxam: an SMS came in and made me wanna curse but ):
4.xxam: lalalaland

8.xxam: woke up, resumed the SAME ROUTINE and got off the bed even longer later

ate/stoned/ate/stoned/smsed(and found myself keying in 43556 in e main screen instead of hello at e compose msg screen the fifth time throughout these few days)/folded/packed/left the house/training (no beach cos it was raining): )

11.20pm: called __, got off the bus and gave myself 9min sitting at the busstop. took another bus home
11.3xpm- 3.xxam: bathed, internet back to unfinished stuff on prev nights, talked online
4.xxam: lalalalaland

9.xxam: woke up, SAMA SAMA till abt 15min later
climbed down and found myself back to e place w zhou gong on sis' bed

11.xxam finally woke up
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (state of memory loss)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
training blahblahblah, go through same cycle till now, blogging

TOMORROW. (or today).

PLEASE

 

life=msn

today suddenly got inspired online how life is like msn.

when someone suddenly appears in your life (online)
you only have a few seconds to say hi (know the person, build friendships)

otherwise the person will just disappear back into a sea of people! (my list of contacts and i was super lazy!)

If you're busy
You'll have no idea who's appearing,
be it someone whom you will treasure for life or someone who can harm you.

If you decided to remain unavailable and stay out of others' business (offline),
no one will know you exist (except for those who truly care for you and understand you(: ) (awww dongdong you should totally read this haha :D)
 

arghh and apologies!

i hate my ankles! ><

but i am the one that made you all overwork! it's been 6 days already omgg.

 

i can really be crowned the lame queen alr D:

 

anyway apologies to friends in advance! i think i am going back to that mood again! even though i wont spend much time on it coz there's not much time!

 

don't worry don't worry ok!

 

LOVE YOU ALL :D <3!

 

i think i will tell ___ what happened tonight but explaining after it ends! i feel very sorry to trouble ___&___ again! i think they are overloaded and will be worried about me ><

 

and i've decided to ask SH the question that i've always wanted to ask since last april! D:

 

wish me luck and i hope SH will tell me truthfully what SH knows! at least it will give me motivation to hang on to it! i am not really sure about the part of talking about ______ though! :/ i think it's my fault to compare in the first place >< maybe ___ is learning!

 

ohh and this is a REMINDER to my self to ask that person and talk to that person when the time comes!

 

ok i am sorry i shouldnt be blogging about this again :/

 

but i wish i can be more hard-hearted D: ><

another post about the troublesome word

forgot to add in front!

 

i've NEVER EVER done anything for the sake of being a ____!

 

i've ONLY done things because they are close to my heart and i strongly feel that something should be done!

 

so don't ever TRY to insult me saying that i am ____

because that will be an insult not only to my character but my SOUL

 

you can even call me a b___ or a____ swear word but cant call me the above mentioned! (though i think these two nouns are actually quite important in some way to the society.)

saint

realization number three!

 

quite random! just thought of it just now. :P i can now cry for things that i used to cry more easily. love or other bad stuff like.

 

ugliness of human beings.

 

i wish i was a saint.

and i wish everyone else is too.

(but if everyone is how does the word "saint" be applicable and valid? shrugs just another funny thing about language but i guess it can't be helped because all languages are invented by humans? D:)

 

but nobody is perfect!

and i wish i know nobody! (erm not in the emo and i-hate-the-world-the-world-hates-me tone alright! i love my loved ones! (: )

let go

after fighting so long i still haven't won :/

 

can't believe this battle against myself will be so tough!

 

anyway another my analysis is that i am tired

 

and it's all my fault.

 

it proved alot of things to me and made me learn many harsh lessons just now.

 

i hope i will be better at it!

 

please please just loosen it about and it will be gone soon!

 

(but perhaps it will take me years)

the troublesome word

fed up seriously! should have listened to a___ and i wouldn't have done that! ><

looks like being outdated isn't really a bad thing sometimes!

but i think the end result will be the same even if i didn't do it i think!

 

anyway after much analysis and realized my resistence/disgust towards that L_______ word (not love! thanks!) has increased or rather deteriorated by a tremendous amount.

 

well i think it's meant to be!

due to the fact that i know it so well but yet don't understand it!

 

btw the previous time i was here was 8 Aug and i am finally back! but it's about the same things that i blogged last year omgg i should really do the post that i owe to myself and jacky! i'm really sorry dear blog! i've let down your name though it's given by me ):

 

ok random thoughts coming soon

STOP

crying

because of council please.

 

thank you very much.

 

yesterday was a bad bad day. an ironic one too.

 

waterfeste in school vs. water disaster in taiwan. i should not be feeling glad that i am here ><

 

but it's a blessing that they are all alright (:

reminders!

i swear i am exploding soon and will totally lose all these memories so i need to remind myself!

 

CCAL CAMP

HOLIDAYS IN GENERAL+ LOTS OF THOUGHTS

GREEN MILE/RE-LIVE

TV PROGRAMMES

 

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS perhaps CTs

 

k that should be about it (:

 

end of week ten& random

grr i realized i didnt finish typing about week 10 :/

 

anww after the 2 random but impt things that i did on fri i just crashed when i reached home and DIDNT SEND UK LIT TRIP PPL OFF >< anw they're back alr yay! :D hahaa dongdongchiayingjing,rachel g, KEVY&LENA (grrr this is the 3rd bday tt i cant wish u kevyna pangg? in fact NO ONE celebrated w you last yr coz you were likee at home mugging? D:), tze ern, sambor, rita, zhixin(?) and other friends who were at lit trip i hope you've enjoyed yourself and TAKE CARE and REST WELL ya! (:

cant rmb wad i did on sat&sun! probably spent time thinking about what i was think for the past few weeks/months and packing for CCAL camp!

 

WILL TALKK ABT CCAL CAMP SOOON SOON SOON!

 

attempted to turn on mugging mode but very very unproductive so slacked for abt 4/5days more yucks D: i now declare that I AM SUPER LOUSY AT MATH though i knew it long time ago ever since sec 3 :/ k will start on BIO first coz i am utterly scared to face mental blocks if i do math and physics (which will seriously make me dieee :/)

 

anw vivian said canoeing women's open was fine! (: JIAYOU to canoeing friends xinerquek, yenyenyang,gerii, vivian, chee, gab, GV and whoever i know for trainings and seasonn! :D

and to ODAC ppl nette, racheeel, siyun, joo, margaret, yvonne, xintian the thinkerr (: and bin(?) and other friends BON VOYAGE and hope you will enjoy your cool cool expeditionn XD